On Tuesday evening I presented some of the basic ideas of how to parent a child with difficult behaviors to a great group of parents. One of the main ideas in my presentation is that we as parents need to stay regulated in order to connect with our child, help them become regulated and then to teach them.

The following day, as I stood on the playground with one of the parents who attended the presentation, watching our children play, I said something to the effect that I'm not regulated all of the time but I continue to try! The other mom remarked that she was relieved to hear me say this. We laughed and went on with our conversation.

Later as I came back to the conversation in my head it dawned on me that we as parents can offer each other so much if we would recognize we are all trying our best to parent our children and yet we all fall short sometimes. If we could reach out to one another to support the efforts we see and encourage one another it seems to me we would make more progress. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we all spoke the same language of regulation/dysregualtion too and had a similar understanding of our children's and our behaviors. I imagine it would be easier to support one another because we wouldn't jump to a judgement and turn away. We might offer some support to help the parent regulate, offer a small gift of time or even a nod of acknowledgement in support of the parents efforts! Now that would be a sure sign of parenting with love...love for our children...and love from our community! Melanie

I've been busy planning and presenting to parents information on the Beyond Consequences approach to parenting the child with difficult behaviors. As I do this I am reflecting on my journey through parenthood and the lessons I've learned. I've learned a lot. And though I most certainly don't have all of the answers I have been praying that I am able to share clearly the information I do have. I pray that I am able to speak in a way that parents are able to hear how they can create a strong parent child relationship with their precious child. I pray that I can help parents to find a place of understanding, compassion, peace and love...

Here are some of the opportunities to come to one of my presentations:

Tuesday February 16 I will be presenting to members of Gilda's Club at the Lowell (616-897-8600) clubhouse. If you are a member of Gilda's check out the calendar for more info or give the clubhouse a call.

Tuesday February 23rd at St.Stephen School in East Grand Rapids from 6:30pm to 8:30pm. Parenting the child with difficult behaviors. This is open to anyone interested and is free of charge.

Saturday March 13 at Eastern Avenue Christian Reformed Church Grand Rapids from 9:00am to 12:00pm I will be presenting to parents of adopted children on parenting the difficult child. This presentation will have specific information ofr parents of children experiencing Trauma. Please contact Adoptive Family Support Network (616-458-7945) or send me an message(mhogeterp@gmail.com) if you would like to attend this. This is also free of charge.

March 31 at Gilda's Club Grand Rapids I will be presenting to members of Gilda's Club at the Grand Rapids Clubhouse. Give the clubhouse a call(616 453-8300) for more information.

As always, let me know if you have suggestions or would like me to come to speak with your group or organizations. I'd love to hear from you.

Melanie