"A connected family provides a child with her first experiences in feeling safe, powerful, purposeful and like she belongs." -Heather Forbes

Today I want to give you a practical example of how we can be aware of the fear in our children's lives.

Kevin is away for work this week. Although our children have experienced Kevin leaving and returning many times in the past they are each affected by his absence. One of my jobs while he is away is to be in tune with this and to reassure them. This is especially significant for the two adopted children who are more sensitive to the impression of abandonment. But I have heard this week from the other two that they "miss Dad".

The quote from Heather Forbes above refers to "feeling safe". Our children experiencing the absence of their father as an issue of safety. In this instance, the kids are experiencing a difference in their daily lives, one of the most important people in their lives is gone and this is scary to them. For the kids who have a small window of tolerance and have trouble staying regulated, this can be an even more difficult experience. And there can be more difficult behaviors My job this week has been (aside from all of the day to day jobs) is to stay regulated and provide the safe base for the kids. To reassure them and acknowledge their fears and anxieties. Just this presence awareness, and acknowledgement can make all the difference for them.

My hope is that you can begin to see some of the feelings of fear in your child and understand where their behavior are based. It will make all the difference. Melanie